It’s that time of year when every cyclist’s loved one scratches their head and mutters, “What on earth do I buy for someone whose entire wardrobe is Lycra?” Fear not—I’ve got your back with a gift guide guaranteed to make your cyclist happier than a tailwind on a hill climb.
Ah, how times have changed. Back in those happy, bygone days, I was far easier to please—just a quick trip to Santa and a wrapped surprise was enough to light up my Christmas. Fast forward to now, and Christmas lists have gotten a little more… specialized.
1. The Lycra Upgrade
Cyclists are vain. Let’s not sugarcoat it—they love to look good while suffering. A fresh jersey or bib shorts will make them feel like a pro, even if their FTP says otherwise. Go bold with colors. Fluorescent pink? Fluorescent yellow? Yes, please. Subtlety is for losers.
2. The Bum-Saver
Look, chamois cream might not scream “romance,” but do you want your cyclist to be comfy or not? Think of it as gifting happiness in a tub. Pair it with some high-quality gloves, and you’re officially their favorite person.
3. Coffee or Death
Cyclists run on caffeine and delusion. A portable espresso maker for the café-stop-obsessed, a subscription to boutique beans, or even a cheeky voucher for their overpriced local spot will have them buzzing with joy—and caffeine.
4. Tech Toys That Make Them Drool
Cyclists and gadgets go together like mud and gravel. An Insta360 camera will let them film their “epic” rides (read: ego trips). Or go classic with a power meter, a sleek bike computer, or lights so bright they could guide Santa’s sleigh. Bonus points if they sync with their phone because everything must be on Strava.
5. Something Just for Them
If you really want to make their Lycra-clad heart skip a beat, go custom. Personalized frame decals, engraved multi-tools, or a helmet painted in their favorite colors. It’s thoughtful, unique, and, most importantly, ensures their bike looks even better than they do.
6. The Holy Grail
Sometimes, though, the best gifts are the ones that scream, “Look at me!” Just imagine this: a beautifully wrapped bike waiting under the tree. Nothing says “I love you” quite like carbon fiber disguised in festive paper.
Feeling generous? Nothing says “You’re my favorite person” like carbon wheels. Lightweight, sleek, and stupidly expensive—exactly what every cyclist dreams of under the tree. Warning: once they unwrap this, they might love the bike more than you.
What NOT to Buy
- Anything “funny” with a bike pun on it. They’ll fake a laugh, but inside, they’re dying.
- Water bottles. They already have a drawer bursting with them. Unless it filters champagne mid-ride, it’s a no.
- A turbo trainer. That’s like gifting someone a treadmill. Nobody wants one—they just endure it.
The Final Word
Cyclists are simple creatures: give them something that makes them faster, shinier, or more caffeinated, and they’ll worship you forever. Or at least until they get dropped on the next group ride.
So, this Christmas, ditch the socks and chocolates. Go big, go bold, and remind your cyclist why You’re the one who truly gets them.. Happy gifting, and may all your rides be downhill with a tailwind! 🎄🚴♀️